


So There is a Number...

by Kaitie



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Cute, Drinking, Drunken Confessions, Fluff, M/M, Not Beta Read
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-18
Updated: 2020-12-18
Packaged: 2021-03-10 18:13:48
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,277
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28141440
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kaitie/pseuds/Kaitie
Summary: Clint has a habit of getting drunk and hitting on Tony. One of these times, he just might be taken seriously...
Relationships: Clint Barton/Tony Stark
Comments: 2
Kudos: 93





	So There is a Number...

“I’m going over there.”

“I don’t think that’s a good idea.”

Clint gave Phil an annoyed look as he took another sip from his drink. He sighed, feeling the whiskey burn its way down to pool warmly in his stomach. Looking across the ballroom, he saw Tony, holding court in a group of very wealthy-looking people, each one hanging on his every word.

Clint shifted uncomfortably in his tux, rolling his shoulders inside of the confining fabric. The sleeves were too tight and the shiny black shoes were pinching his feet. What he wouldn’t give to be at home in some sweatpants right now.

“Stop fidgeting” Phil admonished, reaching over to straighten his tie.

“Thanks, Dad” Clint said, rolling his eyes. “I can’t believe you all dragged me here.”

“It’s for charity and you know that we could use the good publicity. So just suck it up, plaster a smile on your face and schmooze with the people that we need to keep happy.”

Clint lifted the glass to his lips and tossed back the remainder of his drink. “One more” he said, pushing the glass over to the bartender. He could feel the judgment radiating from Phil, but refused to look at him to confirm it.

“Haven’t you had enough yet? Maybe you should slow down.”

“Not even close. If I’m expected to put up with all of… this” he said, gesturing widely to their posh surroundings, “I’m going to need a few more.”

Phil sighed, shaking his head.

\---

Ten minutes and another drink later, Clint found himself finally alone, Phil having to excuse himself to the restroom. The warmth from the whiskey had spread, making his whole body feel loose and he was starting to hate being there a little less. See, he knew that drinking would make everything better.

He’d kept his eyes on Tony, watching him flit from one group to another, sweet-talking rich old geezers out of their money to support whatever foundation they were here for. It was impressive, Clint had to admit. He had some skills, but a way with words wasn’t one of them. It was one of the things he loved about Tony. _Admired_ about him, not loved, Clint reminded himself with a shake of his head. Uh oh, maybe Phil had been right about the drinks.

Tony was now on the other side of the dance floor, chatting with Steve and laughing about something. Even as he told himself not to, Clint’s feet started moving and he found himself walking across the room towards the sound of his laughter.

His eyes drank in the sight of Tony, looking as comfortable in his tux as Clint only did in sweats. His hair, beard, shoes…everything was meticulously put together and he looked like a million bucks. Or how ever many million he was actually worth, Clint thought, inwardly rolling his eyes. Meanwhile, he felt like a little kid playing dress-up.

“Hey Clint” Steve said, the first to see him walking over. “I knew you were here somewhere, but hadn’t seen you.”

“Hey Steve” he said, wobbling slightly as he came to a stop in front of his two teammates. Damn shoes. Or whiskey. Whichever. “Having a good time?”

Steve shrugged good-naturedly. “It’s nice. Very fancy, I’m not really comfortable at things like this, but I’m happy that the foundation seems to be raising a lot of money.”

Clint nodded, turning to Tony who was looking at him warily. To be fair, he supposed, he had been known to hit on Tony whenever he got drunk and by the look Tony was giving him, Clint must be noticeably tipsy.

“How about you? Enjoying yourself?”

“The open bar is a nice touch” Clint said, “And let me take this opportunity to point out that you are looking particularly ravishing tonight, Tony.”

This time it was Tony’s turn to roll his eyes. “Not with a thousand condoms, Clint.”

“Ok, first, ouch. That one hurt a little” Clint said, only partially joking. “Secondly, what I’m hearing you say is that there is a number…”

Steve chuckled, looking back and forth between the two. This dance between them had been going on for weeks. Clint would have a few drinks, let his guard down and, perhaps obnoxiously, reveal his crush on Tony. Who would then respond with his usual snark and turn Clint down.

Spotting movement out of the corner of his eye, Steve saw Natasha giving him a wave. She was standing with Coulson and from the raised eyebrow and nod towards Clint, they clearly knew what was happening. Again.

“Hey Clint” he said, interrupting before Tony could lob another insult at him, “I think Nat is looking for you.”

Clint looked to where Steve pointed. “The warden is back. My freedom was so fleeting” he said, looking off into the distance dramatically. Steve laughed. “Guess I better head over before they come and get me.” He gave the pair a wave and turned to leave. “Like I’m an unruly child or something” he muttered under his breath, glowering at Nat and Phil as he headed towards them.

Tony opened his mouth, but wisely shut it when Steve shot him a look. They watched as Clint crossed the room, walking straight past Natasha and Phil for the other bar a few yards behind them. Steve shook his head, amused at the way they scurried off after him. They all pretended to be so tough, and they were, but when it came to Clint they were like two mother hens.

He glanced back over at Tony who was also still watching.

“Shut up” Tony said, not even bothering to look at Steve. He could feel his eyes on him and just knew.

“I didn’t say anything” Steve said, feigning innocence. He supposed Phil and Nat weren’t the only mother hens. He had his own chick to worry about.

“You were thinking. It’s annoying.”

“You don’t know what I was thinking. Maybe I was thinking that I wanted another canapé. Or maybe a beer.”

“You were not” Tony huffed in exasperation.

“Wasn’t I? Then what was I thinking? Since you’re apparently psychic now.”

“You’re under the strange delusion that I have a thing for Clint. Which is, frankly, preposterous.”

“Uh huh.”

“It is!” Tony stuck his bottom lip out in something very close to a pout, and Steve fought back a smile. “He throws himself at me every time he’s a few sheets to the wind, but either doesn’t remember or decides not to say a word the rest of the time…”

“And you want him to?”

“Shut up. No. That’s not what I’m saying.” Now he was gesturing angrily, getting more animated as Steve got more amused, openly laughing at Tony’s frustration.

“You’re hopeless, you know that?”

“I am not. I don’t even know why I’m humoring you with this ridiculous conversation” Tony sighed in exasperation.

“You could just tell him you like him. If you do, that is. But you don’t, so I guess nevermind” Steve said with a shrug. “I’m just saying, maybe he doesn’t say anything when he’s sober because you’re…you.”

“What is that supposed to mean? I’m me?”

“Some people can find you… intimidating. And, whenever he does drop hints, maybe not always subtly, he’s swiftly rebuffed by you. If he does remember the next day, he’s probably embarrassed. I wouldn’t want to draw attention to it if it were me. Would you?”

“Rebuffed, huh?” Tony said, raising an eyebrow at Steve skeptically. But he fell quiet for a second, thinking over what Steve was saying. He had just been messing with Clint, mostly. He didn’t think that Clint had really been serious at first, then he didn’t know how to handle it. He never thought Clint would take it to heart, but maybe he had.

“Maybe just go talk to him, like a normal person” Steve suggested, giving a pointed look to where Clint was now standing, looking bored out of his mind.

“I’ll think about it. But I have some donors I should be talking to right now, so if you’ll excuse me.”

Steve watched Tony walk away, brushing off the situation like he did with anything that made him feel emotions he wasn’t comfortable with. Well, maybe he’d at least given Tony something to think about and that was all he could do right now. They would be cute together, Steve thought. And then maybe he wouldn’t have to watch this insane flirting ritual they’d somehow fallen into.

\---

The next morning, Tony walked into the communal kitchen at the Tower before heading down to meet the rest of the team. Steve and Coulson had some things they wanted to go over with everyone since Phil refused to let them have the morning off just because they’d been out the night before. Not that he was in bad shape. Once he had some coffee in him, Tony knew he’d be feeling just fine.

The same couldn’t be said for Clint however, who was sitting on one of the stools, head down on the kitchen island, resting on his folded arms. His eyes were closed, but when Tony slammed one of the cabinet doors, he let out a groan.

“Not feeling so hot this morning, Barton?” he asked cheerily, making sure to do everything with a little extra noise.

“Shhhhh” he hissed.

“No can do. It’s almost time to head down to the meeting. Up and at ‘em!”

“You’re a real sadist, you know that?” Clint cracked one eye open, wincing at the bright kitchen light. With a moan, he buried his head back into his arms.

“I do. You want some coffee?”

He grunted, which Tony decided was probably a yes. He poured a cup, setting it down in front of Clint, watching as he raised his head just enough to gulp some down.

“There ya go. You’ll be feeling better in no time. So, did you have a good time last night?” Tony sat on the stool across from Clint, sipping at his own cup.

“Uh, I can’t actually remember.”

“Can’t say I’m surprised. That open bar really got you.”

“Yeah. Being bored and unlimited booze isn’t a great combination for me.” He sat up a bit to look at Tony warily. “How bad was it?”

“Well, let’s just say the night left me with some questions.”

“Such as?” he asked, though he thought he might be better off not knowing.

“For one, how did I not know that you have the entire Thriller dance memorized?”

“I did not” Clint said with a look of horror.

“Oh, you did. Luckily for you, it was late enough that there weren’t a lot of people to witness it, and the ones that were left were probably as blitzed as you were. Luckily for me, I recorded it. Want to see it now or later?” he offered, reaching for his phone.

“Later” Clint moaned, “I don’t think I can take it now.”

“I mean, it was pretty impressive. Especially since the song wasn’t even playing.” Clint looked across at him, wanting to slap the grin off his face, but just the thought of moving made his head hurt even more.

“So that was one. Does that mean there’s a two?”

“Oh, at least. But for number two, why did you try to kiss me at a charity gala?”

Clint froze, dropping his head to stare very intently at the formica countertop, like it was the most interesting thing he’d ever seen.

“Sorry” he mumbled, “I was a little drunk, as you know. Did I do anything else?” Now he really didn’t want to know. He felt like such an ass.

“You called me a noisy squirrel.”

Clint’s head popped up at that, looking at Tony in astonishment. “A noisy squirrel?”

“Uh huh.”

At least he didn’t look mad, Clint thought, studying Tony’s face. He looked amused. That was good.

“That actually does sound like me. Were you being a noisy squirrel?” he asked, trying to make light of the whole situation.

“Not that I was aware of. I don’t even know if it was an insult or a compliment. You seemed pretty pleased with yourself when you made the comparison, then promptly kissed me. So I guess you were into it.”

“Tony, I really am sorry.” Clint sat up, the coffee starting to do its job. He felt ever so slightly less like death. “I know…” he took a deep breath, having avoided it for long enough, he knew he couldn’t anymore, “that I’ve, made some feelings known when I’ve been drinking –”

“Clint –”

“No” he said, holding up a hand to stop Tony from arguing. “It’s ok, I know you’re not interested and I hoped that I wouldn’t do it anymore, but I did, and kissing you wasn’t ok. I promise it won’t happen again.”

Tony looked at the miserable expression on Clint’s face. He looked embarrassed and sad, and it was giving Tony a weird feeling in his stomach. He checked his watch, seeing that they only had a few minutes before they were due downstairs.

Sliding off the stool, he walked around the counter to Clint’s side.

“Next time” he said, waiting for Clint to look at him, “maybe just try doing it sober.” Before Clint could register what he was saying, Tony pressed a soft kiss to his lips, lingering for just a moment. Pulling away, he gave Clint a wink, deposited his cup in the sink, and walked to the door.

“Down another cup and get downstairs. You don’t wanna piss Coulson off…again” he called behind him, closing the door with a laugh.

**Author's Note:**

> Another gem from the good old abandoned fics folder. I was pleased with how cute it was though, I don't know why it never got posted. Ah, the good old days of all the Avengers living happily together in Stark Tower. I miss that, lol.
> 
> This was written using three different prompts from incorrecttonyxeveryonequotes on tumblr, in particular the lines #1 - "So there is a number..." #2 - "You were thinking. It's annoying" and #3 - "Why did you try to kiss me at a charity gala? ... You called me a noisy squirrel."
> 
> So, using those bits, this is what I came up with. Hope you like!


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